Two caravans, four adults and a journey through Australia’s heart – the trip of a lifetime, right? Wrong. A wise take on the joys of travel with those you might dislike the most but love the best.
Sharyn Tregonning wanted a holiday somewhere glamorous for her 60th birthday. So when her husband Barry surprises her with a caravan trip from Adelaide to Broome, she is furious – and bitterly disappointed. Even worse, Barry’s annoying friend Ray and Ray’s reclusive frumpy sister Kathleen are coming along.
It’s true that Kathleen Allenby has become a recluse. As the end-of-life carer for three family members (and at war with her mean neighbours) she has become anxious. She doesn’t expect this trip to offer her much. Sharyn has always looked down on her, and Kathleen has never liked her (or her bitchy friends).
But as a series of mishaps and accidents, overflowing toilets and destination disagreements test boundaries and fray tempers, the two women share a bottle of gin and begin to bond over the highs and lows of caravan life and their irritation with their menfolk as they travel through the magnificent Kimberley towards magical Broome. When a body surfaces at a luxe resort, it brings their grudges and hurts out into the open, and the women realise that it’s not just the men’s future – or behaviour – that needs to change.
prologue
The jet ski sliced through the pristine waters of Talbot Bay like a knife through butter. Raph loved this time of day. The sun had yet to rise above the horizon but it had already turned the water cerulean blue and painted pink and gold on the steep rocky walls of the cliffs.
He’d first come here as a backpacker eight years ago, planning to work for one season, but the unique setting and the changing mix of people had drawn him back and now he was a guest experience manager at the iconic Horizontal Falls. Although not for much longer. Tourist operations like the one he worked for were being curtailed or shut down but for now he breathed in the peace and serenity of the remote north of Western Australia and appreciated how lucky he was.
He headed across the vast expanse of the bay towards the anchored vessel that housed the eighteen guests who’d stayed overnight. They’d been the usual mix of overseas and Australian tourists who’d paid well for the bucket-list experience. The large American man was the noisiest and of course he stood out, but Raph had been intrigued by two other couples. They were Aussies, two men and two women in three rooms, and there’d been something odd about the way they interacted with each other.
A splash to his left caught his eye and, in the distance, he saw a large dorsal fin cut the water. Something had interested the tawny nurse sharks that inhabited the bay. They were usually docile during the day and handfeeding them was one of the main activities each afternoon but now quite a group of them were gathered around something about fifteen metres from the vessel.
He cut the throttle right back and turned the nose of his jet ski towards the prowling sharks. Gliding closer, he frowned and lifted his sunglasses. He blinked but nothing changed. There was definitely a body in the water, arms akimbo, eyes closed as if they were relaxing instead of being buffeted by the pack of sharks. Raph’s heart went to his mouth and he took a deep breath to stop his breakfast doing the same. Then a single shriek pierced the morning air.
one
From under the restaurant canopy Sharyn eyed the dark clouds on the horizon. The late April day had been warm but now a storm was building over Adelaide and the air was oppressive. She glanced out over the calm waters of the lake. Perhaps the storm would bypass them, slip down the gulf and out over Kangaroo Island on its way east.
“Yoo-hoo, Sharyn, did you hear me?”
She flicked her gaze back to the table, the remains of their long lunch still evident. Three sets of eyes were fixed on her. Ruth, Gail and Ann. Her best friends. They’d all been newly married when they’d first met years ago. They’d just bought their first homes in suburbs neighbouring the newly developed and trendy West Lakes. Together they’d followed every trend since.
“You’ve got plans already, haven’t you?” Ruth gushed excitedly from across the table.
Sharyn frowned. “Plans?”
“For your sixtieth.” Gail wriggled her eyebrows. “You’re being evasive. You’ve been saying for ages you want to do something different for this birthday but you haven’t suggested a thing.”
“It’s not till the end of June.”
Ann leaned in. “But that’s only two months away. You must have started planning.”
“We’re all keeping our calendars clear, aren’t we, girls?” Ruth glanced at the others, who nodded eagerly.
“We haven’t decided yet.”
The collective intake of breath set Sharyn’s nerves on edge and the garlic prawns she’d just consumed swirled inside her like the barrel of a cement truck, along with the several champagnes that had slipped down all too quickly. Once more three sets of eyes locked on hers.
“Who’s we?” Ruth asked, always the more forthright of the four of them.
“Barry and me.”
“But you said you’d never let Barry organise anything for your important milestones again,” Ann gasped.
Gail winced. “Not after his previous fiascos.”
“He badly wants to organise something special for my sixtieth.” “Have you forgotten how he ruined your thirtieth and your fortieth? And you always go on about the disaster that was your honeymoon before that.” Ruth marked off each of Barry’s demerits on her fingers. “It was supposed to be an overseas holiday.”
Sharyn gave an internal eye roll. They never let it go. “He was joking about the overseas part. We had no money back then.” She felt a pang of hurt on her husband’s behalf. She’d always made a joke of his promise of an overseas honeymoon. All their careful savings had gone on the house deposit so they’d flown to Kangaroo Island, which she’d thought was special, but he’d booked the wrong dates for their accommodation and hire car. It was school holidays and there was little available. They’d ended up staying in a tiny back room of a run-down lodge with no heating, intermittent hot water and a long cold walk to the nearest eating place. “It was nearly thirty-five years ago.”
“Barry can’t organise a chook raffle.” Ruth was not to be deflected. “You’ve said so yourself on many occasions.”
“Chooks were the problem for your fortieth birthday, as I recall,” Ann said.
“Don’t talk about it.” Sharyn’s stomach roiled even more at the memory.
“I don’t suppose it was actually his fault the chicken was off,” Gail offered.
Ruth snorted. “It was his idea to hire the roasting van and do it himself.”
“And what about your thirtieth?” Ann said. “You hated it. Said you’d never forgive him.”
“Not exactly nev—”
“Throwing a surprise party at home for someone with a new baby and a toddler,” Ruth cut in. “I don’t know why we let him talk us into it. We all had young kids and he hired a jumping castle. There was barely room for it, half the kids were too young for it and the rest were bouncing off the furniture, not just the castle. Blood noses and bumps everywhere. Lucky there were no broken bones. It was chaos.”
This time Sharyn joined the chorus of groans. She’d been off colour for a few days leading up to that birthday and with two young children she hadn’t been able to do a thing around the house. She remembered the humiliation of everyone traipsing out to the backyard through the laundry full of dirty washing and a kitchen cluttered with saucepans and dishes and toys and then the extra mess that had followed the party.
“Times have changed,” she said bravely. “And anyway, it’s not only my sixtieth we’ll be celebrating. It will be our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.”
“We had ours last year.” Ann pouted. “It’s coral.”
“Oh, yes. Dear Trev bought you that hideous coral-coloured handbag.” Ruth chuckled.
“It’s the thought that counts,” Sharyn said.
This time her three friends’ gazes were accusing and Ruth tossed her spoon to the plate with a clatter.
“Don’t suddenly come over all pious. You’re the one who goes on about not letting Barry organise anything.”
“I know I’ve always banged on about Barry’s…” Sharyn shrugged, “bad luck with celebrations, but he’s been working on this for a while now.”
“What’s he planning?” Ann asked.
Once more Sharyn was conscious of the rich food and drink swirling inside her. “I think it’s a holiday somewhere warm. I glimpsed some brochures with palm trees and a yacht before he whisked them away the other day.”
“If it’s a holiday he should let us know soon,” Ruth said. “My work calendar is already busy for the next few months and you know how hard it is to get Roger and Gail off the property.”
Gail had married a farmer second time round but kept her house in Adelaide. These days she spent almost as much time there as she did on their farm.
“Maybe it will be a real overseas trip this time?” Gail grimaced. “Our passports have expired. We’ll have to get them renewed. You need to allow time for that.”
Sharyn pressed her fingers to her lips and cleared her throat. “I think it’s something expensive. He’s been very secretive and today he was quizzing me about how long I’d be out. I think he might be going to tell me tonight.”
“I do hope it’s a villa in Tuscany.” Ann sighed.
“That’s been done to death. I was reading about this place in Japan that’s supposed to be one for the bucket list.” Ruth frowned. “B-something.” She put her fingers to her chin. “Beppu! It’s in the south and has over two thousand hot springs. And June’s summer for them.”
Sharyn screwed up her nose. “Our leave starts in less than a month. And we haven’t renewed our passports either.”
“Maybe a local holiday, a special dinner somewhere and an expensive piece of jewellery,” Ruth said. “I’ve already got my eye on a jade bracelet for our anniversary. It’s the alternate gift to coral for thirty-five years.”
“Wish I’d known that,” Ann groaned.
“I’m sure he’s planning some kind of a holiday.” A tropical island was what Sharyn had hoped for.
Somewhere overseas would be even better, and she hadn’t thought of Japan. There was still time to get passports if they paid extra and he could hardly organise hers without her knowing. “The money came through from Barry’s dad’s estate a month ago and it was very generous. We had no idea he had so much stashed away.” She leaned in. “We’ve paid off our mortgage.”
“Something I can only dream of,” Gail moaned. “There will always be things we need for the property. We’ll be leaving debt to the kids, not money.”
“Says the woman whose city house is her holiday home and who’s had more overseas holidays than the rest of us put together,” Ruth quipped.
The colour rose in Gail’s cheeks and Sharyn cut in before the old argument about asset rich, cash poor came up. Ruth loved to push people’s buttons and poor Gail always rose to the bait. “Barry’s planning something swanky.” She glanced at each of her friends apologetically. “And I think…well, I’m not sure, but it might be a holiday…just for the two of us.”
“Oh.” Gail’s pink cheeks deflated.
“We always celebrate our special birthdays together,” Ann said. “We’ll still do that.” Sharyn beamed hastily to soothe any ruffled feathers. “I’ll make sure there’s a party as well, don’t you worry. I’m hoping the boys will come home for it.” Sharyn and Barry’s eldest, Max, lived on the Gold Coast and Liam lived south of Perth. They both led such busy lives it would take some planning. Perhaps Barry had been on to that already.
“If Barry is whisking you away, we can have a nice dinner before you go,” Gail said. “Although we’d better get planning.”
“Maybe after we get back?” Sharyn suggested. “I’m just not sure how long we’ll be gone for but we’ve got six weeks’ leave.”
“Zero birthdays should go all year anyway,” Ruth said. “And Sharyn might be the first but we’re all turning sixty later this year.”
Ann clapped her hands. “Instead of the one big party like we did for our fiftieths, we can roll from one party to the next.”
“We’ll have to celebrate on Julie’s day too,” Gail said. “I can’t believe it’s a year already since she…”
Gail’s voice wavered to a stop and they all fell silent.
“Poor Julie.” Ann shook her head. “Raymond’s idea of an early sixtieth gift was to buy that fancy caravan.”
“She went downhill so fast she never got the chance to go anywhere except the trial run to Yorke Peninsula,” Gail said.
Ruth grimaced. “At least if she had to die too young she did it before Ray could inflict a long caravan holiday on her.”
Sharyn cringed at Ruth’s harsh words but she was in agreement when it came to caravans. They were not her thing either. She raised her glass. “To absent friends.”
A chorus of voices followed hers and they all sipped the bubbly. There was still a giant hole in their gatherings that had always been filled by Julie’s bright smile, quirky jokes and upbeat personality.
“Julie would be poking her tongue out at our gloomy faces.” Ruth raised her glass again. “To turning sixty. We owe it to Jules to do it in style, and what a celebration it will be.”
They all sipped again and Sharyn swallowed the lump in her throat that still wobbled up so easily. She missed her dear friend very much. The two of them had been particularly close – they’d only lived a few streets away from each other, and Barry had got on like a brother with Raymond. They’d known each other the longest of all of them, whereas he wasn’t so close to the other three husbands. Nor their wives, for that matter. Sharyn sipped her champagne but it soured in her stomach. Barry had been determined to surprise her properly, to make up for past mistakes, he’d said. As exciting as that sounded, her friends had reminded her how fraught his surprises could be.
A family holiday goes wrong in the new 2025 novel from a beloved, bestselling Australian author.