Forty years after Thiet Huynh smuggled his family out of Vietnam, he faces a final challenge: to be cared for by those he once protected. With courage, ingenuity and humour, Thiet and the Huynhs set off on a journey to remake their lives together.

'I have to live,' Dad kept saying to me. And I had to help him.

In 2021 a massive stroke left Thiet in need of constant care and upended life for him and his family, especially for his son Kim.

As Kim washed, transported, medicated, monitored, and fumed at Thiet, he forged a profound connection with the man who had risked everything for them to escape Vietnam and start a new life in Australia.

Together they looked back at how, after their boat crashed, Thiet tried to save Kim's life by giving him up to a stranger. How he was responsible for providing electricity to both South Vietnam and South Canberra. How he taught Kim to run a bakery, ride a bike, and turn defeat into triumph.

This powerful tribute from a son to his father will help you care for your loved ones, look after yourself and to know when to let go.

Endorsed by Carers Australia.

PRAISE

'Kim Huynh renders the father-and-son dynamic in its full complexity-the love, the grief, the guilt, and the devotion-and offers us something rare: a way to feel less alone, and to find grace when, ready or not, the roles between parent and grown child reverse' Tracey Lien, author of All That's Left Unsaid

'Kim Huynh shoulders historical legacies along with the day-to-day weight of duty, while offering us lots of belly laughs. An epic Australian story of compassion, wisdom and joy' Vivian Pham, author of The Coconut Children

'Perhaps we only truly grow up once we care for our aging parents, as they once cared for us. Profound and arresting, raw and honest. I don't think there's another memoir like it.' Sam Vincent, author of My Father and Other Animals

'Written in captivatingly simple prose, with occasional flashes of poetry, this book grabs your attention from the start and refuses to let go. Essential reading for all those who pray for a more caring world, as well as those who value the multiculturalism increasingly under threat in Australia today.' Christine Helliwell, author of Semut

'Kim shines a light on the often-unseen role of caring and its intersections with family and culture. An authentic story that pays tribute to the 58,000 carers who are the heart of our nation's capital.' Carers ACT

'I am moved over and over by Kim's love and effort in coming to grips with the sacrifices his parents made to save his infant life. As roles reverse, he asks what it means to live with our shared vulnerabilities. A refugee story that calls us to recognise that giving and receiving care is the stuff of being human.' Anne McNevin author of Worldmaking and Border Politics

'No-one has a voice quite like Kim Huynh's. But I wasn't prepared for what I would encounter in My Old Man and Me. By inviting us to accompany him through the daily rituals of care Kim provides to his father - without in any way minimising the toll it has taken on his life, relationships and career, but also without a trace of self-pity - Kim allows us to see the network of obligations we inhabit, and that make us who we are, in an altogether different light.' Scott Stephens, Editor of the ABC's Religion & Ethics website and co-host of The Minefield

'This book privileges your entry into that inner sanctum of the carer and the cared-for, where vulnerability, grief, frustration and hope are nestled in the safety net of love.' Dalanglin Dkhar, carer and director of Unconditional

'This wonderfully and gently written book reminds us that our lives are the result our forebears' work, experience and sacrifice. It showcases how in the face of conflict, loss and fear, humanity prevails.' Andrew Kwong, author of One Bright Moon

'It is about him, his dad, and also about everyone who has ever been a carer. It was moving to read such an honest account of his caring journey-the frustrations, the joys, the slow wisdoms-and to be reminded that the ties of family, no matter how stretched, never break.' Craig Cormick, carer, author and Marion Writers Centre Patron

My Old Man and Me: A story of escape, sacrifice and survival

My Old Man and Me: A story of escape, sacrifice and survival